Dear faithful followers,

With End of Years a Tiffin Girls fast approaching, I have dedicated what little time I have to answer the following. Enjoy.



James May asks: 
HI krowemoh yrotsih stahw. R|E|P|L|Y A~S~A~P


Doctor X replies: 
I know how much History matters to you, but may I remind you that there is a homework page that answers questions just like this - asking Doctor X will not guarantee neither a quicker nor more accurate response.




LOL asks: 
Archimedes 2: Bone vs stone

Doctor X replies: 
The new curriculum is total  b******* (make what you wish of that); physics isn't meant to be fun.



Odinson asks:
Who dares speak in such a manner to my father, Odin's, creations, the humans? I will rend them in half! Answer me!!!!!!!!

Doctor X replies: 
Bäste herr Odinson, jag ber om ursäkt till din far men har du inte sett människor? 




Bobbbb asks:
What is my real name and where am I from????????????????

Doctor X replies: 
It would be improper for me to reveal your name and address, oh young Feltham-dwelling, Virgin Media-watching one.



fgvcjjkfisjdifjkjfdcnbshfuihsufishduifhsduifhsduihfsduhfjdsfksjhjkdshfjksdfjksdhnjjkvvnjkcxvnjkcnvjkcnvjknvjkgvhkjhuirhuhrt asks:
Are you gay blad?


Doctor X replies: 
You aren't even aware of my gender. The fact that you are asking this perhaps implies that you are a homophobic Tiffin Boy living in the outer reaches of London on a BT internet connection.



qed asks:
what is a question?

Doctor X replies:
A question refers to a linguistic expression used to make a request for information, or the request made using such an expression. I would like to thank you - this has been my first proper question in years, Quod Erat Demonstrandum.

Dear Beloved Fans,
I am afraid that I have spent most of my Easter, and last week in Antarctica, observing incestuous relationships within a population of Emperor Penguins. I was set to return two weeks ago, by my crew was attacked by a rabid polar bear, killing Jon Jonnathon, and Jon John Jonathon. However, we were saved by a Japenese whaling ship, which kindly took us aboard, at the relatively low-cost of a kidney per head, but I digress. 

Your Son asks:
When is the Art Homework for 7Y1 due? Please reply ASAP. Your son who is IMMORTAL. (#mwahahahahah)?


Doctor X replies:
Thou fool, I refuse to answer such a question, for it was your incompetence that forgot when your homework was due in, and hence forth you shall suffer the consequences of your stupidity. 




Joe Gibson asks:
I don't know where I am.


Doctor X replies:
My sources tell me that you are in South Wimbledon.



? asks:
What's 9+10?

Doctor X replies:
19.



My name is Teddy asks:
What is my real name?

Doctor X replies:
Arthur.



Theo asks:
Excuse me what's Quantum theory

Doctor X replies:


Quantum theory is an umbrella term for a series of discoveries made in the 20th century.

Basically, in the 1920s everyone in physics was happy because Niels Bohr had (pretty) successfully described the spectrum of hydrogen. He said that electrons had elliptical orbits, BUT didn't have anything substantial to back these assumptions up (which pissed some people off). Other people weren't happy because Bohr did NOT describe the spectrum of larger atoms nor did he explain varying spectral line intensity (and apparent double lines that were popping up everywhere).

Therefore, physicists decided to radically alter their ideas and come up with mind-numbing (and often utterly pointless) theories based upon more assumptions than homoeopathic medicine.

Jake asks:
What is the birds and the bees

DOCTOR X replies:

Wikipedia says this:
Birds (class Aves or clade Avialae) are feathered, winged, two-legged, warm-blooded, egg-laying vertebrates. Modern birds are characterised by feathers, a beak with no teeth, the laying of hard-shelled eggs, a high metabolic rate, a four-chambered heart, and a lightweight but strong skeleton. 


Bees are flying insects closely related to wasps and ants, and are known for their role in pollination and for producing honey and beeswax. Bees are a monophyletic lineage within the superfamily Apoidea, presently considered as a clade Anthophila. There are nearly 20,000 known species of bees in seven to nine recognized families, though many are undescribed and the actual number is probably higher. They are found on every continent except Antarctica, in every habitat on the planet that contains insect-pollinated flowering plants.


"The birds and the bees" is an English-language idiomatic expression and euphemism that refers to courtship and sexual intercourse. The "birds and the bees talk" is generally the event in most children's lives in which they learn the truth about "where babies come from." The phrase is evocative of the metaphors and euphemisms often used to avoid speaking openly and technically about the subject.



"And that's why birds do it, bees do it
Even educated fleas do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love"

Abv asks:
Are you just the creator of this site 'cos that is really, really lame. So lame.

DOCTOR X replies:
If this page, in any way, offends you, I'd suggest you contact the site owner and get him to take this page down; I am not the creator of this site. Perhaps, as opposed to whining like a little Tiffin Girl, you could stop using this site.




Tjfidf asks:
What is a boson?

DOCTOR X replies:
Short answer: A boson is a class of particle (the other being fermions). More often than not, they carry forces and fields. An example of a boson is a photon.

Mildly Long answer free of maths: Its possible to solve Schrodinger's equation for the hydrogen atom to calculate its energy levels and spectrum. This worked pretty well until scientists realized that some of the lines in the spectrum were actually just closely-spaced pairs of lines. This wasn't supposed to happen so they postulated electrons had spin angular momentum (google it).

Fermions have spin angular momentum 0.5ħ, 1.5ħ... whereas bosons have a spin angular momentum of 0, ħ, 2ħ... For reasons unknown, fermion wave functions are always asymmetric while boson wave functions aren't. In a system of identical particles, a switch between two particles can't cause any physical changes in the system (and therefore the wave function can only be change by +/- 1).


This means that two fermions cannot share the same quantum numbers and state whereas bosons can. Therefore, bosons often act as force carriers.



marvin asks:
what is the difference between time and space


DOCTOR X replies:
Space is a set of dimensions; time measures the changes in these dimensions.




SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:

THE DOCTOR X AWARD FOR MOST WORRYING/POINTLESS/OFFENSIVE QUESTION GOES TO ABV WITH HIS QUESTION: "Are you just the creator of this site 'cos that is really, really lame. So lame."

THE JUDGES SAID:
"His use of repetition is really, really lame"
"This guy really has no life"
"Utterly pointless"

 STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT DOCTOR X AWARD.

Bob Bobby Bobbington asks:
What is better, a lamborghini or Maclaren? Please say Maclaren.


DOCTOR X replies:
Mclaren: http://youtu.be/N1K_d_DjWis




Abv asks:
Who are you?


DOCTOR X replies: 
Does this, in any way, affect the quality of my advice?

yourfae@ahfjoa asks:
what is the eaning of life

DOCTOR X replies:

John Johnson asks:
What's one thing everyone must do in their lifetime?

DOCTOR X replies:
Respire



aasdfsgfsawe asks:
Can you cry underwater?


DOCTOR X replies:
Yep. Just because you're underwater doesn't mean that lacrimal glands are disabled




THAT'S ALL FOR THIS SESSION OF ASK DOCTOR X! POST YOUR QUESTIONS THROUGH THE FORM ON THE SIDE OF THIS PAGE.

Vladimir Pooting asks:
If intelligent life with technology comparable to ours look at Earth from a distant planet, what would they see?


DOCTOR X replies:

AlizMacDoermmotzRobertz99 asks:
yo doc im bored. gimme a puzzle or someting.


DOCTOR X replies:

THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY FOLKS! SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION AT THE SIDE OF THE PAGE.